The Love Guru

Release: June 20, 2008

Darren Roanoke, the star player of the Toronto Maple Leafs, is suffering from stress because his wife, Prudence, has left him for Jacques "Le Coq" Grandé, who is the goaltender of rival team Los Angeles Kings, his nickname apparently a nod to being exceedingly well-endowed. Roanoke's stress causes his hand to shake, which affects his hockey performance, so team owner Jane Bullard enlists the support of Guru Maurice Pitka to help Darren with his stress so that the team can hopefully break their losing streak.

Locate The Duplicate Entry For The Love Guru

Title	Date Added	Release Date
The Love Guru	01/30/2013	(2008)
The Nutty Professor	05/01/2012	(1996)
Happiness Runs	05/12/2015	(2010)

Trailers

This is the movie's DVD trailer.

Posters

Quotes

Guru Pitka: "As I write in my book. "Stop Hitting Yourself. Stop Hitting Yourself. Why Are You Still Hitting Yourself?", I explain that, people may say bad things about you, but you must never say bad things about yourself."

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Jay Kell: "Roanoke found out his wife, Prudence, was dating the L.A. Kings' legendary French-Canadian goalie, Jacques "Le Coq" Grande. He earned his nickname, "Le Coq" for reasons that cannot be stated on this program."

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Guru Pitka: "I am his holiness, the Guru Pitka."

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Guru Pitka: "They can say bad thing about you but you must never say bad things about yourself."

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Prudence Roanoke: "Do you think he's really changed? I mean, he can't even play in front of his own mother. She's like kryptonite to him."

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Coach Cherkov: "If I sit like this any longer, I'm gonna pop my dink bag."

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Jacques Grande: "Don't look at me with that tone of voice or I will punch you in the shirt!"

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Guru Pitka: "Let's look at the word, guru. Ok. My goal is to get you to say "Gee yoU aRe yoU", TM"

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Guru Tugginmypudha: "Good distraction frees us from emotional pain. Bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz."

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Guru Pitka: "Marishka Hargitay."

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Jacques Grande: "Ding Dong. Did someone order the special Quebec pizza huh? You know, like in the porno."

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Guru Pitka: "Give me a pound. Lock it down. Break the pickle. Tickle, tickle."

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Guru Pitka: "It's a problem. Even Jay-Zed had 99 of them, and the bitch was not one of them!"

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Guru Pitka: "Rajneesh, I'd like an alligator soup, and make it snappy. Because alligators are snappy, and at the same time, I want it prompt."

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Guru Pitka: "When I was a child in India, growing up in the tiny village of Harenmahkeester, I found a voice over machine which I still use to this day."

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Guru Pitka: "Intimacy is like putting your wiener on a table and having someone say 'That looks like a penis... only smaller'."

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Guru Pitka: "If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your uncle jack off an elephant?"

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