50 WORST SONGS - BLENDER MAGAZINE (continued)
25. PUFF DADDY FEAT. FAITH EVANS AND 112
"I'll Be Missing You" (1997)
...and your Platinum-selling albums. (Cries)
A little over three months after the tragic shooting of his best friend, the Notorious B.I.G., a distraught Puffy Combs channeled his grief into "I'll Be Missing You," a nauseating brew of gloopy sentimentality and strategic-marketing mawkishness. Opportunistic? Perhaps. But how very therapeutic it must have been for Puffy to have this memorial to his departed chum spend eleven weeks at number 1.
Worst Moment: The mumbling insincerity of the spoken-word intro: "I saw your son today... He looked just like you."
24. FIVE FOR FIGHTING
"Superman (It's Not Easy)" (2000)
Musical Kryptonite
In the chaotic days following 9/11, people were grasping at whatever they could find for comfort. But perhaps nothing shows how out of sorts America was than the ascendance of this turgid ballad by once-and-future unknown John Ondrasik as this grieving nation's unofficial anthem. Maybe it was the sensitive-guy lyrics ("Even heroes have the right to bleed") delivered over Billy Joel-lite piano noodling that soothed America's frazzled nerves. But if this man is allowed to continue recording, then surely the terrorists would have won.
Worst Moment: Those falsetto notes in the chorus are enough to bring both Osama bin Laden and Lex Luthor to their knees.
23. COREY HART
"Sunglasses at Night" (1984)
If you look up one-hit wonder in the dictionary, this is what you'll find
Over a keyboard riff that sounds a little like that of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)," the brooding Québecois Hart mugged worse than Derek Zoolander as he extolled the virtues of going incognito. With its lack of anything resembling a human being playing an instrument, this is synth-pop at its most bubblegum.
Worst Moment: The chorus, in which Hart warns "Don't switch a blade on the guy in shades, oh no," was an attempt at tough-guy posing, but it made him sound like the musical equivalent of Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club. That is, not very tough at all.
22. TOBY KEITH
"Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)" (2002)
Oklahoma redneck runs for office on Hate ticket
Outraged by the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Toby Keith enlisted in the Air Force — no, sorry, he wrote a fight anthem so vengeful it makes "The Star-Spangled Banner" sound like "Give Peace a Chance." Though right-wing radio hosts and politicians called him a hero, Keith (who hadn't had a hit in years) moaned "It sucks a** that I have to defend myself for being patriotic." Wrong. You have to defend yourself for celebrating bloodlust and violence.
Worst Moment: "We'll put a boot in your a**; it's the American way," he sings, mistaking revenge for ideals of liberty.
21. THE SPIN DOCTORS
"Two Princes" (1992)
This is what happens when jam bands go pop
It's obviously unfair to dislike a song because of the appearance of the band that recorded it. Yet the very sound of "Two Princes" evokes the way the Spin Doctors looked. With its riff repeated long past endurance, dopey lyrics, and abominable vocal scatting, it could only have been the work of scrabbly bearded, questionably hatted, red-eyed stoners staggering out of the rehearsal room convinced they have discovered the missing link between grunge, The Grateful Dead and Jamiroquai - blissfully unaware that no one in his right mind was looking for that in the first place.
Worst Moment: "Dit-dit-dit! Dit-dit-dit-a-dobba-dobba-dobba-dobba!"
20. LIONEL RICHIE
"Dancing on the Ceiling" (1986)
The world's least convincing party song
Sounding suspiciously as if it was written in order to fit a video treatment rather than the other way around, this dispiritingly unfunky celebration appears literally to be about dancing on a ceiling — "People starting to climb walls... The only thing we want to do tonight is go 'round and 'round and turn upside down." Even more troubling is the thought that in the '80s, this rancidly thin stew of AOR dynamics and curiously Rick Wakeman-ish keyboards was Motown's idea of a hot party record.
Worst Moment: The fake party ambience, clearly the work of bored studio employees forced to whoop and cheer.
19. MR. MISTER
"Broken Wings" (1985)
The thoroughly nasty sound of yuppie angst
"Broken Wings" is primarily annoying not for its anodyne mid-'80s production, nor for its lyrics, which make its central protagonist sound like someone you would seek a restraining order against ("You're half of the flesh, and blood makes me whole," he sings, reaching for the nail gun). It's primarily annoying because it's a four-minute intro with no song attached. When the booming drums finally kick in, they announce the arrival not of a fantastic chorus or an epic finale, but the greatest anticlimax in pop, featuring what can only be described as a synth bass so
25. PUFF DADDY FEAT. FAITH EVANS AND 112
"I'll Be Missing You" (1997)
...and your Platinum-selling albums. (Cries)
A little over three months after the tragic shooting of his best friend, the Notorious B.I.G., a distraught Puffy Combs channeled his grief into "I'll Be Missing You," a nauseating brew of gloopy sentimentality and strategic-marketing mawkishness. Opportunistic? Perhaps. But how very therapeutic it must have been for Puffy to have this memorial to his departed chum spend eleven weeks at number 1.
Worst Moment: The mumbling insincerity of the spoken-word intro: "I saw your son today... He looked just like you."
24. FIVE FOR FIGHTING
"Superman (It's Not Easy)" (2000)
Musical Kryptonite
In the chaotic days following 9/11, people were grasping at whatever they could find for comfort. But perhaps nothing shows how out of sorts America was than the ascendance of this turgid ballad by once-and-future unknown John Ondrasik as this grieving nation's unofficial anthem. Maybe it was the sensitive-guy lyrics ("Even heroes have the right to bleed") delivered over Billy Joel-lite piano noodling that soothed America's frazzled nerves. But if this man is allowed to continue recording, then surely the terrorists would have won.
Worst Moment: Those falsetto notes in the chorus are enough to bring both Osama bin Laden and Lex Luthor to their knees.
23. COREY HART
"Sunglasses at Night" (1984)
If you look up one-hit wonder in the dictionary, this is what you'll find
Over a keyboard riff that sounds a little like that of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)," the brooding Québecois Hart mugged worse than Derek Zoolander as he extolled the virtues of going incognito. With its lack of anything resembling a human being playing an instrument, this is synth-pop at its most bubblegum.
Worst Moment: The chorus, in which Hart warns "Don't switch a blade on the guy in shades, oh no," was an attempt at tough-guy posing, but it made him sound like the musical equivalent of Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club. That is, not very tough at all.
22. TOBY KEITH
"Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (The Angry American)" (2002)
Oklahoma redneck runs for office on Hate ticket
Outraged by the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Toby Keith enlisted in the Air Force — no, sorry, he wrote a fight anthem so vengeful it makes "The Star-Spangled Banner" sound like "Give Peace a Chance." Though right-wing radio hosts and politicians called him a hero, Keith (who hadn't had a hit in years) moaned "It sucks a** that I have to defend myself for being patriotic." Wrong. You have to defend yourself for celebrating bloodlust and violence.
Worst Moment: "We'll put a boot in your a**; it's the American way," he sings, mistaking revenge for ideals of liberty.
21. THE SPIN DOCTORS
"Two Princes" (1992)
This is what happens when jam bands go pop
It's obviously unfair to dislike a song because of the appearance of the band that recorded it. Yet the very sound of "Two Princes" evokes the way the Spin Doctors looked. With its riff repeated long past endurance, dopey lyrics, and abominable vocal scatting, it could only have been the work of scrabbly bearded, questionably hatted, red-eyed stoners staggering out of the rehearsal room convinced they have discovered the missing link between grunge, The Grateful Dead and Jamiroquai - blissfully unaware that no one in his right mind was looking for that in the first place.
Worst Moment: "Dit-dit-dit! Dit-dit-dit-a-dobba-dobba-dobba-dobba!"
20. LIONEL RICHIE
"Dancing on the Ceiling" (1986)
The world's least convincing party song
Sounding suspiciously as if it was written in order to fit a video treatment rather than the other way around, this dispiritingly unfunky celebration appears literally to be about dancing on a ceiling — "People starting to climb walls... The only thing we want to do tonight is go 'round and 'round and turn upside down." Even more troubling is the thought that in the '80s, this rancidly thin stew of AOR dynamics and curiously Rick Wakeman-ish keyboards was Motown's idea of a hot party record.
Worst Moment: The fake party ambience, clearly the work of bored studio employees forced to whoop and cheer.
19. MR. MISTER
"Broken Wings" (1985)
The thoroughly nasty sound of yuppie angst
"Broken Wings" is primarily annoying not for its anodyne mid-'80s production, nor for its lyrics, which make its central protagonist sound like someone you would seek a restraining order against ("You're half of the flesh, and blood makes me whole," he sings, reaching for the nail gun). It's primarily annoying because it's a four-minute intro with no song attached. When the booming drums finally kick in, they announce the arrival not of a fantastic chorus or an epic finale, but the greatest anticlimax in pop, featuring what can only be described as a synth bass so
Apparently the people at Blender don't actually listen to music too often because there are many, many songs more worthy of this list than some of the ones here.
Eiffel 65 - I'm Blue
This is better than Ob-la-di Ob-la-da by the Beatles?
Baha Men - Who let the dogs out?
How is this not worse than Lionel Ritchie?
Eiffel 65 - I'm Blue
This is better than Ob-la-di Ob-la-da by the Beatles?
Baha Men - Who let the dogs out?
How is this not worse than Lionel Ritchie?
Shazbot
Apparently the people at Blender don't actually listen to music too often because there are many, many songs more worthy of this list than some of the ones here.
Eiffel 65 - I'm Blue
This is better than Ob-la-di Ob-la-da by the Beatles?
Baha Men - Who let the dogs out?
How is this not worse than Lionel Ritchie?
I agree and some of these songs while not classics were good during their time period.
I posted it on the part one, but I have to let the world know how much I hate this song. The bad stuff starts just under a minute in the song.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=v7-H2Kh8Ex0
nippy
2386 Posts
16 years, 4 months ago
whoever picked this list sucks. Plain and simple. Songs that should have been on the list?
Old Time Rock n' Roll - Bob Seger
We Are Family - Sister Sledge
Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom - Vengaboys
There It Go - Juelz Santana
Shake That Laffy Taffy - D4L
Back That Ass Up - Juvenile
Blinded By the Light - Manfred Mann
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham!
Old Time Rock n' Roll - Bob Seger
We Are Family - Sister Sledge
Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom - Vengaboys
There It Go - Juelz Santana
Shake That Laffy Taffy - D4L
Back That Ass Up - Juvenile
Blinded By the Light - Manfred Mann
Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go - Wham!
gustogummi
2602 Posts
16 years, 4 months ago
This is why I rarely listen to mainstream music.
How the hell is is "We Built This City" at Number 1!?!. "Achy Breaky Heart" should be there. I can't belive ""Broken Wings" is there too :x .
The Gang
Hmm... as i glance at both parts of this, i cant help but think this list was rushed. Some are not even that bad, while others leave me thinking... what the hell is this doing on the list.
mlw1984
1435 Posts
16 years, 4 months ago
gustogummi
This is why I rarely listen to mainstream music.
Just because something is mainstream doesn't mean it sucks.
nippy
2386 Posts
16 years, 4 months ago
mlw1984
gustogummiThis is why I rarely listen to mainstream music.
Just because something is mainstream doesn't mean it sucks.
as a rule, yes it does...with very few exceptions.