Henry Blake:
"Look, all I know is what they taught me at command school. There are certain rules about a war and rule #1 is young men die. And rule #2 is doctors can't change rule #1."
Hawkeye:
"I've eaten a river of liver and an ocean of fish! I've eaten so much fish, I'm ready to grow gills! I've eaten so much liver, I can only make love if I'm smothered in bacon and onions."
Frank Burns:
"Individuality is fine, so long as everybody's doing it together."
Sidney Freedman:
"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice:
Pull down your pants and slide on the ice."
Sidney Freedman:
"I'm not going out there without a bulletproof couch."
Henry Blake:
"[to Radar] You behave yourself, or I'm gonna come back and kick your butt."
Hawkeye:
"I'll save you the trouble, I know how it ends:
Peter Pancreas marries the princess… Pelvis. They have a couple of kidneys, and they all liver happily ever after."
Hawkeye:
"For you, Frank. It's a MacArthur doll. Wind him up and he returns from anywhere."
Frank Burns:
"You know what my brother used to call me when we were kids?....Ferret-face!"
Henry and Frank:
"Henry: ...Our lines have been cut.
Frank: Now who would do a thing like that?!
Henry: The enemy, FRANK!!
-Henry and Frank"
Radar:
"I am NOT SHORT!!
-Radar"
Henry:
"Ah, nuts...I gotta go to the sandbox!
-Henry"
Frank and Hawkeye:
"Frank: Why, you...you...!!
Hawkeye: I am NOT!!!
-Frank and Hawkeye"
Col. Potter:
"I've got a soft spot for Klinger. He looks a little like my son, and he dresses a lot like my wife.
-Col. Potter"
Col Blake:
"ive gotta go shot some targets, and i did'nt even know they were in season
-Col Blake"
hawkeye:
"what hight, you have know hight to mke fun of, go get some hight we'll make fun of it
-hawkeye"
Winchester:
"Gentlemen
-Winchester"
Trapper:
"This morning was a very good year
-Trapper"
Frank Burns:
"Oh, you...GUYS!
-Frank Burns"
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