Donkey:
"Hi Princess!"
Fiona:
"It talks!"
Shrek:
"Yes. It's getting it to shut up that's the trick!"
Fiona:
"Where are you going, the exit is that way?"
Shrek:
"I have to save my ass."
Fiona:
"What kind of knight are you?"
Donkey:
"I'm the stair master. If I had stairs right here I'd step all over those stairs"
Shrek:
"I'll stay here, you look for the stairs."
Donkey:
"Stairs? I thought we were looking for a princess?"
Shrek:
"The princess will be at the top of the stairs."
Donkey:
"Who told you that?"
Shrek:
"I read it in a book once."
Shrek:
"OK Donkey, two things: Shut. Up."
Shrek:
"You'll do fine. Just stay quiet and don't look down."
Donkey:
"(board breaks)Shrek, I'm looking down! Aah!""
Shrek:
"There's a lot more to ogres than people think."
Donkey:
"Example?"
Shrek:
"Ogres are like onions."
Donkey:
"They stink?"
Shrek:
"Yes--No!"
Donkey:
"They make you cry?"
Shrek:
"No."
Donkey:
"You leave them out and they turn brown and start growing little white hairs?"
Shrek:
"No! Ogres have layers! Onions have layers! You get it?"
Shrek:
"Does anybody know how to get to Lord Farquaad's Castle?"
Donkey:
"I know!"
Shrek:
"Does anyone else know?"
Donkey:
"I like that boulder. That's a nice boulder."
Shrek:
"Can't we just settle this over a paint?"
Farquaad:
"Eww! That's hideous!"
Shrek:
"It's just a donkey!"
Gingy:
"Do you know the Muffin Man?"
Farquaad:
"The Muffin Man?"
Gingy:
"The Muffin Man!"
Farquaad:
"Yes, I know the Muffin Man! Who lives on Drury Lane?"
Gingy:
"No, not the buttons! Not the gumdrop buttons!"
Shrek:
"Who sent you?"
Pig:
"Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed and he, signed an eviction notice!"
Donkey:
"That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey!"
Donkey:
"This is great! We can stay up late and exchange man stories and in the morning, I'm makin' waffles!"
Donkey:
"You may have seen a housefly, or maybe even a superfly. But you ain't ever seen a donkey fly!""
Animated chorus:
"♪Welcome to Duloc, such a perfect town
Here we have some rules, let us lay them down
Don't make waves, stay in line
and we'll get along fine
Duloc is a perfect place
Please keep off of the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your… face
Duloc is, Duloc is, Duloc is the perfect place♪"
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