Roxanne Kowalski:
"You know, I've been thinking about what attracted me to Chris. It wasn't the way he looked. Well, that's not true; At first, it was the way he looked; But it was how he made me feel; He made me feel romantic; intelligent; feminine. ⋯but it wasn't him doing that, was it? It was you; You and your nose, Charlie; You have a big nose; You have a beautiful, great big, flesh-and-bone nose; I love your nose; I love your nose, Charlie; I love you, Charlie. [stares] Well?"
C.D. Bales:
"Are you kidding? [somersaults off the roof of the house]"
C.D:
"(As the Tough Guy stands in a daze) Has he fallen yet?
(The Tough Guy collapses to the ground)"
Tough Guy:
"You smart-ass son-of-a-bitch!"
C.D:
"You flat-faced flat-nosed flat-head!"
Tough Guy:
"Hey!
(Runs to C.D and gets punched in the face)."
C.D:
"Ow!"
C.D:
"Dirty. (To the Tough Guy) Your name wouldn't be DICK, would it?"
C.D:
"Appreciative. Oh, how original. Most people just have their teeth capped!"
C.D:
"Aromatic. It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the coffee...In Brazil!"
C.D:
"Uh, paranoid. Keep that guy away from my cocaine!"
C.D:
"Disgusting. Say, who mows your nose hair?"
C.D:
"Alright, alright. Religious. The Lord giveth, and He just kept on giving, didn't He?"
C.D:
"(At 19 jokes) How many is that?"
Dean:
"14, chief!"
C.D:
"Pornographic. Finally, a man who can satisfy 2 women at once!"
C.D:
"French. Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you leave!"
C.D:
"Inquiring. When you stop and smell the flowers, are they afraid?"
C.D:
"Obscure. Whoa, I'd hate to see the grindstone! (To the crowd) Well, think about it!"
C.D:
"Scientific. Say, does that thing there influence the tides?"
C.D:
"Complimentary. You must love the little birdies to give them this to perch on!"
C.D:
"Sympathetic. Aw, what happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?"
C.D:
"Melodic. Everyone: He's got the whole world in his nose!"
C.D:
"Polite. Um, would you mind not bobbing your head? The, uh, orchestra keeps changing tempo!"
C.D:
"Commercial. Hi, I'm Earl Scheib, and I can paint that nose for $39.95!"
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