James Krippendorf:
"[in costume] The Shelmikedmu utabaji embraces his death with courage and dignity. [belches]"
James Krippendorf:
"[Mickey chases his hamster with a rake] Mickey, put the rake down and get on the bus! You can finish killing your pet when you get home!"
Irene Harding:
"Get away from me, you voodoo twit!"
James Krippendorf:
"[as the Utabaji] You-ah bitch."
Veronica Micelli:
"He says it's a very large and frightening country, filled with many things he thought existed only in myth."
Larry Swift:
"And he said all of that in three syllables?"
Veronica Micelli:
"It's a very concise language, Larry."
James Krippendorf:
"Another brandy, Professor Micelli?"
Veronica Micelli:
"[drunk] I'd don't think I should. [She tilts the bottle to fill her glass] No, just a little bit more."
Ruth Allen:
"[trying to hire a guide] You. Me. Go Wasavi."
Ruth Allen:
"[to her pet monkey] I'd forgotten... the stench... the chaos... the decay... oh, Po-po, we're home!"
Mrs. Tournquist:
"Abbey, come out of there!"
Abbey Tournquist:
"Not until I'm purified!"
Veronica Micelli:
"The Shelmickedmu deal with the same problems we deal with every day: loneliness... despair... extreme sexual tension!"
James Krippendorf:
"[filming the phoney "circumcision"] Edmund, you're looking up to the gods with trepidation... "Trepidation."... "Trepidation."... You're afraid you're brother is actually going to cut your wee-wee off. [Edmund gasps]"
Mickey Krippendorf:
"[Professor Krippendorff, with a movie camera, walks in on Mickey and Edmund, who are shirtless and painting their bodies] Hey! The Shelmickedmu do not allow their pictures taken without the ritual paint."
James Krippendorf:
"Nicely put."
Mickey Krippendorf:
"It is our way."
James Krippendorf:
"Yo!"
Veronica Micelli:
"[Edmund opens the door to find Professor Micelli and a strange man] Oh, Pumpkin, do you remember me from yesterday? I'm Veronica Micelli and I've brought this nice reporter. [Edmund slams the door in their faces]"
Simon Alonso:
"What are they called?"
James Krippendorf:
"Huh?"
President Porter:
"Do they have a name, Professor Krippendorf?"
James Krippendorf:
"Of course they have a name. Uh, uh - The, uh, the "Shelmikedmu."-The Shel - Shelmikedmu."
Lori:
"What?"
James Krippendorf:
"[Clears Throat] The Shelmikedmu."
Irene Harding:
"Children! Your biological father is here."
Veronica Micelli:
"Down-da-hatcha! Eat-ah-puke-ah! [holds out a large bug for James Krippendorf, dressed as the Shelmikedmu Chief, to swallow; he chews on the bug, grimaces and swallows]"
James Krippendorf:
"Excuse me, ah, what exactly is the older brother doing?"
Mickey Krippendorf:
"He is completing the ritual dance in which he asks the gods to protect the young boy from the many brides who will want him and his pig wealth."
James Krippendorf:
"[sending his children off to school] Make me proud. Come home different."
Veronica Micelli:
"It's so cool to be a globe-trotting fourteen-year-old."
TV Store Customer #1:
"[all of the TV store sets are tuned to the "Shelmickedmu" sex video] Wild jungle woman! That's what I like..."
TV Store Customer #2:
"[laughing] I'd do her. [Veronica slaps his face] What'd you do that for? I wasn't talking about you."
Veronica Micelli:
"[storming out of the house] You can kiss my Neolithic butt!"
James Krippendorf:
"[to his father-in-law] Proud woman. I try to respect her feelings. [goat in the hall bleats] Oh, Miss Micelli, you forgot your goat!"
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