Chester:
"Positively perfect pass play, Penny Pester."
Carmelita Chu:
"My name is Carmelita Chu. I collect butterflies."
Matthew:
"We get along great, we laugh together, we like the same music, the same sports, we get along just great."
Counterman:
"Then what's the problem?"
Matthew:
"She don't know I'm a boy."
Chester:
"Two-story house. Yeah before you buy it they give you one story, after you move in you get another story."
Dr. Vonn Kemp:
" Remember when you get a job make sure your boss is taller than you. That way it's easier to kiss his ass."
Chester:
"You don't need a boy to help you win! You're women! You don't need anyone! You're liberated! You got the vote! You can burn your bras! When you get them!"
Chester:
"What a lady. When she walks in a room, mice jump on chairs. At Christmas they hang her and kiss the mistletoe. I tell ya if she went to a dog show, she'd win."
Chester:
" I read a book once, "100 Ways to Make Love." I ended up in traction, it was a misprint!"
Chester:
"Well, you know how it is - boys want to be girls, girls want to be boys... Some of them are..."
Chester:
"We have a chance. Like a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest."
Chester:
"Coach Bull huh? I know your full name!"
Matthew:
"No, he's not a stranger. He's just strange."
Chester:
"What is this? A drag race!"
Chester:
"I finally got some respect!"
Chester:
"Women are a beautiful bed of flowers. (Punk girl walks by) Of course there's a weed here and there."
Chester:
"I dressed her son up like a girl, and invited him to play with me."
Chester:
"My name is Chester, I'm great, I'm wonderful! Everybody likes me!"
Redneck:
"Hey, Chester. My name's Harland, and to me you look like a giant asshole."
Chester:
"Well, if I'm an asshole there's a reason for it. You're contagious!"
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