Bill Stork:
"What is it boy? Truck! Trouble at the mill! Is the barn on fire? The barn's on fire! The well! Timmy's stuck in the well!"
Boingo:
"You've been Hoodwinked, baby!"
Wolf:
"I'm allergic to yodeling."
Granny:
"It's true, I'm not like other grannies. I never did like the quilting bees and the bingo parlors. I'd rather live life to the EXTREME!"
Nicky Fllipers:
"Well! Someone hibernated on the wrong side of the cave."
Boingo:
"Dolph, tie up the brat; Liesel, hold the book; Vincent, get the truck; and Keith... darn it change your name, please. That's not scary and I'm embarrassed to say it. Boris, try that. Keith, ya know, OOOO Watch out for Keith!"
Wolf:
"You know, I'm front page material now. I'm about to crack a story about the 3 pigs running a home improvement scam. Houses falling left and right!"
Twitchy:
"I've got the wide angle lens for those piggies. You gotta go wide!"
Woolworth:
"Little Red? Processing... yes, I know her. Good kid. Not like that Bo Peep. Girl put up an invisible fence, tasted metal fillings for a week."
Wolf:
"The song was catchy, but the choreography was terrible."
Tommy:
"I know about houses. l built mine out of straw. I'm not an idiot."
Twitchy:
"Hey, lookie-lookie! I found this box of candles! A big box!"
Wolf:
"A box of candles?! light them up! Wow, that's nice and bright! What kind of candles are those?"
Twitchy:
"Dy-na-mi-te! That must be Italian!"
Nicky Flippers:
"[The movie opens in sepia to the front cover of…; opening narration] "Red Riding Hood". You probably know the story."
Red:
"[archival scream] Wa-aaa-argh!"
Nicky:
"But there's more to every tale than meets the eye.
It's just like they always say: "You can't judge a book by its cover.""
Nicky:
"[the book opens up to the pop-up map] If you want to know the truth, you've gotta flip through the pages.
[The camera goes into the pop-up forest until it goes into a realistic version up to the front door of Granny's.]"
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