Uncle Fester:
"Let me put it this way: you've got a lot of homes you need to get rid of, and I've got a lot of family I want to get rid of."
Grandma:
"I haven't bathed in 2 weeks... or is it months?"
Uncle Fester:
"Excuse me, I just tooted."
Gomez:
"This is peculiar weather service."
Gomez:
"Rasp-berry preserves... must be some kind of scented embalming fluid."
Uncle Fester:
"I think I can see my house from here! No wait, that's a woman's prison."
Morticia:
"Pugsley, don't drink it all. This gentleman wants some too."
Morticia:
"Everyone all right? No missing limbs that weren't already missing before you came?"
Gomez:
"Tish, you have got to try these coffee grounds, they have a certain grit to them!"
Parker:
"You don't have a cell phone? That is so weird."
Wednesday:
"I may not have a... cell-phone, but you don't have a crossbow, and I thought everybody did."
Wednesday:
"What's so great about being yourself, when you can be like everyone else?"
Morticia:
"Don't you dare talk to your mother like that, Wednesday."
Wednesday:
"I'll never forget you, Pugsley, although I will try."
Gomez:
"Hand over all your explosives, and the TNT, and the M-80s, and the Roman candles..."
Gomez:
"Tastes like cotton candy."
Morticia:
"How do you know what cotton candy tastes like?"
Gomez:
"Tish, it was my youth. I made mistakes!"
Morticia:
"Don't forget to kick your father goodnight."
Wednesday:
"(enters school) Ah, now I understand. This is a children's prison."
Wednesday:
"Remember, Bethany. I'm not locked here with you, you're locked in here with me."
Spirit of the House:
"Get out!"
Morticia:
"Oh, you're always so grumpy before your morning coffee."
Wednesday:
"Pugsley's gone."
Morticia:
"I know that tone, Wednesday, dig up your brother."
Wednesday:
"We're weakening the gene pool."
Morticia:
"It's late."
Gomez:
"Wednesday can take care of herself."
Morticia:
"It's not Wednesday I'm worried about, it's all the others. We may have to provide an alibi."
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