Fletcher Reede:
"[last 'outtake'; early in the end credits] Weight: 105. Yeah, in your bra!"
"You would!
"Jezebel." [bursts out laughing]
"Oh, no; They're on to me!"
Dana Appleton:
"Your Honor, I object!
"Overactor!"
"[points at the film's director] He put me up to it; Tom Shadyac!"
Ms. Berry:
"[first; as the opening credits begins over black] W-o-r-k; Work. Today, we're going to share what our parents do for⋯"
Ms. Berry/Children:
"Work!"
Max:
"Is wrestling real?"
Fletcher:
"in the Olympics: yes; on channel 23: no."
Miranda:
"[coming up behind] Fletcher."
Reede:
"[shouts] Holy hell!"
Judge Stevens:
"It is only out of sheer morbid curiosity that I am allowing this freak show to continue."
Man:
"[in male's restroom] What the hell are you doing?"
Fletcher Reede:
"I'm kicking my ass! Do you mind?"
Fletcher Reede:
"[in elevator] Hi."
New in the building?"
"Oh! You like it so far?"
"well - That's because you have big jugs."
"I mean - Your boobs are huge; I mean - I wanna squeeze 'em. Mama!"
"[He puckers up. The lady is then heard giving him a hard slap in the face. when the elevator doors open, he walks out holding his face in pain while the lady glares at him]"
Lady:
"Hi."
"Yeah, I just moved in Monday."
"Everybody's been real nice."
"[turns to face him, shocked at his words]"
Macho Attorney:
"[in elevator] hey, Fletcher: How's it hanging?"
Reede:
"[groans] Short; Shriveled; and always to the left."
Max:
"My teacher tells me real beauty is on the inside."
Fletcher:
"That's just something ugly people say."
Greta:
"He knocked over another ATM; this time at knifepoint. He needs your legal advice."
Fletcher Reede:
"[picking up phone; shouting] stop breaking the law, Asshole!"
Fletcher:
"THE PEN IS RE-ROYAL BLUE!"
Fletcher Reede:
"I CAN'T LIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Fletcher Reede"
Mr. Reed -Judge:
"Reed: Your Honor I object!!! Judge: And why is that Mr. Reed? Reed: Because it's devestating to my case Judge: Over ruled. Reed: Good call!!
- Mr. Reed -Judge"
Fletcher and office guy:
"whats up fletcher?".......
"your colesteral fatty!
-Fletcher and office guy"
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