Aziz:
"Mohammed!"
Terrorist Cell:
"(the entire cell leaps up) Yes, sir!"
Ahmed:
"They're all named Mohammed, sir...."
Aziz:
"Yes...yes of course. I must remember to use last names. (Beat) Hussein!"
Terrorist Cell:
"(they all leap up again) Yes, sir!"
Aziz:
"Why are you voting in this infidel election?"
Terrorist:
"Don't worry, I'm not voting for President, but I do feel strongly about proposition 12: a marriage should be between a man and a woman! (Aziz pulls him) Or between a man and a good looking woman!"
Michael Malone:
"I always stood up for gay rights!"
Angel of Death:
"I am the angel of freakin' death, you turdhead."
Michael Malone:
"Hey, wait a minute, you're not a ghost!"
Bill O'Reilly:
"I know, I just enjoy slapping you"
Bacon Stains Malone:
" Don't you worry Mas'sa Malone we got dem bacon stains out of the upholstry, just like you asked. Take over LeBron, I'll do the limo."
Michael Malone:
"Who are these people?"
George Patton:
"They're not people, they're the ACLU!"
Michael Malone:
" I love America. That's why it needs to be destroyed. So that it can come to it's senses."
George Mulrooney:
"Thank you. I dedicate this award to all the courageous filmmakers who take on tough issues like, well, McCarthyism, even though it no longer exists. Or like slavery or Nazism, even though they ended too. But you know, evil exists today like, uh, well, Islamic terrorism, but like I'm gonna make *that* movie, right? Like I wanna get beheaded!"
Ahmed:
"We have at least destroyed an infidel's car."
Aziz:
"That was MY car!"
Mohammad:
"It is getting harder and harder to find good suicide bombers. And all the really good ones are gone."
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